apples, bagels and soup

not having a regular income sucks. and i feel like 28 is too old to be having the bank balance i do right now.

(why yes, i did pay my credit card bill tonight. how did you guess?)

< /grr >

the one good thing about insomnia is that after a particularly late night followed by having to wake up relatively early the next day, by about 11pm you’re dying to crawl into the tender quilted mercies of bed. that in turn means that you’re awake at twenty-past seven the next morning. wide awake. and so you do things like swim 50 laps of your parents’ condo pool, shower, get dressed, and face the rest of your day by 9 o’clock.

i know. i don’t recognise myself either.

in other news: apparently the ‘relax’ button in my brain is on timer. having spent almost every day of the last 9 months in high alert (thanks, itp.) i now seem unable to not-work for more than a couple of weeks without starting to feel restless. time to tinker.

and how are things with you, fair readers? well, i hope?

i baked for the first time in months today, and made savoury surprise muffins. the surprise is an embedded cherry tomato that explodes in your mouth on first bite. guerilla baked goods! here is the recipe:

12 small cherry tomatoes
1 1/2 cups self raising flour
1 cup grated zucchini
3/4 cup milk
1 cup grated cheese
1 egg
1/4 cup olive oil
pinch o’ salt

1. Preheat oven to 200˚C.
2. Prick tomatoes in several places with a skewer to prevent them from bursting during cooking.
3. Sift flour and add zucchini & cheese.
4. Beat salt, egg, oil & milk together until combined.
5. Add liquid to flour and stir until smooth.
6. Place one tablespoon of mixture in each muffin tin.
7. Press a tomato into each mix, fill tins with more mix, covering each tomato completely.
8. Bake in oven for about 20 to 25 minutes until golden.

i use silicone muffin tins so i don’t have to grease them, but if you use ordinary tins you’ll have to.

later this week: cupcakes!

it is 8.30pm and i feel ready for bed. in the last 3 nights of my being home i have not been able to stay awake past midnight. each morning before the hour of 9 i find myself startlingly awake and incapable of further slumber.

everywhere i walk i take in deep, clean gulps of terrigal air. (i worked out, by the way, why it was i breathed so shallowly in new york: the usual city smog aside, so much of it - its streets and subways - smells like a public toilet).

i have spent almost no time in front of my computer, and the better part of each day reading the ‘Anne of Green Gables’ series.

all our meals of the last 2 days have been made by me and they have been replete with vegetables.

i sleep like the proverbial log and wake each morning to warm breath and entangled limbs.

with every day-time drive i marvel at the how big the skies are, and how blue; the privilege of being near so many beautiful bodies of water; and how much i’ve missed living amidst so much greenery.

it’s good to be home.

in a magnificent combination of a broken body clock and sheer joy at finally being done with everything - everything everything! - i am awake at half past 4 in the morning bouncing in my chair to bit shifter. wheeeee 8 bit music is better than crack!

the last week has been 7 flavours of insane, yum yum yum. after the last day of classes last wednesday i had my live image performance that saturday (more on that later). then after a sunday of recovering from being quite quite drunk the night before, this week went like this:

monday: work half day at museum. read and research paper/artists’ statement for art and the brain final. go to bed at 4.

tuesday: work all day at jene’s. write art and the brain final. go to bed at 4.

wednesday: hand in aatb final. work all day at museum. work on photos for networked objects documentation. go to bed at 4.

thursday: work all day at museum. write and finish net objects documentation. till 6am.

friday: work all day at museum. come home and go to bed at 8pm.

saturday: work all day at jene’s.

and now i’m done! no more school, no more internship, no more work - i am freeeeeeee! and happy! and for the next 3 and a half months free! wheeee!

only i can no longer sleep at normal people hours. crap.

maybe it’s because i’m homesick, but this just made me cry.

about bloody time.

gay marriage next, please.

in the form of this photo:

just one of the many i’m preparing for my final for my LIPP (live image processing and performance) class. i think it was taken in genting highlands, but i can’t be sure. i’m preoccupied by more pressing questions about it, though, such as:

what are my parents wearing? what are erny and i wearing???? why am i holding onto that leash and not running for dear life? maybe because that lion looks completely underwhelmed. it looks like mauling me would be a chore he’d rather not expend his energy on right now, thank you very much.

my sister doesn’t look much convinced, though. she’s the only one in the photo who’s got their wits about them. while my parents and i are standing around going lalala for the camera, she clearly has a wtf look on her face about the whole situation.

memory lane can’t be beat for giggles.

(seriously, though, what am i wearing??)

every day i sit down and work on my networked objects final for hours. every single day, at least one thing goes wrong. sometimes it’s a new thing, sometimes it’s something i got to work perfectly 3 days ago that now refuses to, at all.

i appear to be in a constant dance of one step forward, three steps back. the p comp polka, i like to call it.

interestingly, with each brick wall, the despair i feel is less and less; or rather, it takes less time to dissipate into renewed resolve.

if nothing else, i’m definitely learning how to fail well.

now i’m stressed.

argh.